Solace

This short story is dedicated to someone that was very close to me at one point in my life. I’ll never forget the bountiful advice and pleasant memories we’ve shared together. R.I.P.
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        “I really need advice from you, Ike. I’m struggling to understand what my purpose on Earth is—to serve or to create? It’s been two years since I’ve enrolled into this political science program at my school, and my parents still believe I should be a lawyer. Unfortunately, I just don’t think it’s that realistic anymore. I’m not capable or smart enough. Besides, how else are we going to start our own business? We can build our own café like this one.”

          Theodore has been rambling to Ike for two hours now at their local café called The Settlement. A Victorian doorhandle sits on the front door with bells atop that dings nonstop as students flood in and out. The café is quaint and narrow with white rustic walls and mahogany floorboards. Little Christmas ornaments are dangling from the ceiling’s supporting beams, many of which are angels and doves. Vintage décor and art are scattered across the place, presumably gathered from local thrift stores. There are designated study areas for large groups and tiny secluding tables for individual focus. Every Monday morning, these two meet around 10 A.M and update each other on how their lives are going. It’s their routine at this point.

            “Vaccination and I.D please,” the employee asks nervously. Her badge has “In-training” stated right below her name. I presume that she has been through some altercations that have dwindled her confidence outright.

            “No problem, here it is,” I said as I present my credentials swiftly and routinely. “An 8oz black coffee please, leave no room. Blonde roast.”

Her eyes advert to her trainer as she questions herself with a blank facial expression, as if she’s hearing blonde roast for the first time. A coffee cup is presented with a baby blue hue with “100% recyclable material” printed under the café logo and “Theo” written on the other side. There’s nothing in the world that is comparable to that first sip of coffee in the morning, especially black coffee. Ike has been telling me to drink black coffee for so long that it has finally caught on. Its bitterness is oddly tasteful now. I would offer to buy Ike a drink but he is always here before me.

I sit down at our usual spot. A beige wooden table that has pen marks and engravings of initials from people of the past. This table slightly tilts as I pressure one side over the other and fortunately there’s no gum on the underside. This table has been here for as long as I could remember, its never changed as the years have passed into adulthood. Ike and I have had many conversations spoken at this table, conversations with meaning and depth. We’ve always addressed topics that really made you think: happiness, relationships, success and how the future will look like in the next five years. And today was no stranger to these conversations.

“Life is getting really hard and it feels like its all crumbling down before me. I understand that in this epoch of our lives, we’re supposed to feel lost and wander. But how long will I be lost for? I’m so exhausted from not knowing where I’m going,” I explained. “We’ve had this conversation before which makes it even more frustrating for me. I feel like I’ve made zero progress. I need your help.”

Ike sits solemnly, listening intently to the nuances of my quarter-life crisis. He has always been the person I looked up to and went to for advice. He has a certain type of demeanor, where he seamlessly knew what to say and do in most situations.

The café is routinely busy. Students are working restlessly to meet their deadlines, while others are laughing without a care in the world. Despite Theodore’s personal issues, the world resumes trekking forward into the unknown. With no choice but to move forward, he prays for an existential sign from Ike. Theodore’s phone vibrates with a text message from his best friend Marcus. It reads, “Theo it’s time we go. Can you pick up flowers otw?”

Well my friend, it’s time I head out, I thought, I’ll see you soon. Same time next week? It’s silly I ask these things since his presence will always be there, no matter where I go. There’s solace in knowing that he’ll be guiding me for the rest of my life. However, this wasn’t how we pictured it. I gather my books and purchase white lilacs at the local flower shop across the street. Shortly after, I drive towards the cemetery.